Reality Check

If you happen to have been at the Winners in Milton, Ontario this past Tuesday morning you may have seen a very confident, well-manicured mom with her lovely, well-behaved toddler walking sweetly beside her.  This mom was put together nicely with a pretty, spring scarf and crisp, dark jeans.  She was even carrying a latte in one hand while the other was holding the hand of her happy daughter. 

But please don't look too closely, for if you do this mom's secrets will be revealed.

Her pretty scarf has crusty snot on it because she forgot tissues for her daughter who has a cold.  The daughter also has a smear of old boogers across her cheek from her own attempts to clean herself.  The happy, well-behaved toddler's red eyes also give away the tantrum she had moments earlier at the van which explains why she is walking and not being pushed in her stroller like the mom wanted.  Once again the 18 month old wins the fight.  This same mom will return home soon and hang her scarf on the hook in the front hallway, forgetting it is soiled and most certainly will wear it again even after she remembers the snot.  She will also change out of her "good" jeans and exchange them for her "good" jogging pants.  The latte is long forgotten and now she is having a lunch that consists of the crusts of a peanut butter sandwich and half-eaten cucumber slices while standing over the sink.  The rest of her day will not be browsing through shops but most likely will involve wiping bums, cleaning something (although not well), and retiring to the couch exhausted by 8pm.  Not to mention that before the day is over every member of her household will have farted on her. 

Yes, this was my Tuesday. 

The point of this little story is to demonstrate that things aren't always as they seem.  I would argue that moms are guilty of comparing ourselves to other moms often to be critical of ourselves.  This mom business is a messy one although we may appear to have it all together we most likely do not, or at least not always.  I have great moments when my kids will be on their best behaviour and all of my clothes that I am wearing are clean and I will be looking really calm and cool, and those moments are real, but they are not the norm.  I can often be found in truly unclean clothes while all three of my children are screaming (not joyfully) and I am anything but calm and cool.  We should make a collective agreement to stop comparing ourselves to all the other moms and instead develop some universal signal that says, "This is my moment to have it all together, you'll have yours soon and I'll be a mess again".