Just for a Moment

    I bought my first car when I was 26 years old.  I have been largely self reliant with transportation since I was 11 years old.  For fifteen years I took the bus, rode my bike, walked, or took a taxi.  What I miss most about those fifteen years...moments of nothingness.

    A typical day as a suburban, working mom with a car means I am constantly moving and doing something.  I drive almost everywhere I go.  I rarely have to wait for anything.  There is always something waiting for me.  I miss waiting for the bus.  Sounds ridiculous I know.  And for those of you who use public transit may think I am romanticizing times gone past, but I always did like waiting and taking the bus.  Now, this was before cell phones, Ipad, Ipod, Kobo.  When I rode the bus and subway I was often left to my own thoughts.  Sometimes I opened a book but more often I just sat or stood and thought.  These thoughts were not necessarily very deep, although sometimes they were.  Often it was daydreaming I enjoyed while standing on the corner of Barton and Wentworth, thinking of the glamorous life I would have when I was all grown-up. Ha!

    Today I still make time for stillness and nothingness, but even that sentence just sounds exhausting.  "I make time to do nothing."   My new reality is all about scheduling almost every moment of my life.  If I still took the bus I would automatically get those moments.  Some might say I should sell that car I bought 10 years ago (yes I still drive my first car), but I don't live in an urban area where I can rely on public transportation.  It's not as simple as that.  Nothing usually is.

    As I read over this post it does sound a bit whiny.  Oh poor me with the luxury of a vehicle and being able to go wherever I need whenever I need to.  I really don't mean to sound ungrateful. I am simply talking about moments of stillness that I miss.  I guess I will continue to create my own.  

A Thousand Words

     A single image can evoke tremendous feeling from a person.  In today's world of Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, photos are shared instantly and constantly. The power of image waivers between completely inconsequential and totally reactionary.  I would argue; however, that it is not often the image but the viewer responsible for the reaction or non-reaction. Often what we see on our friend's Facebook pages can leave us feeling unimportant or perhaps how our life is so boring compared to others.  What we need to recognize is that these insta-photos are but a mere second in a persons life.  One photo cannot properly depict the truth in a persons life, yet more and more we judge the happiness of people based on their shared photos.

     I do not deny the genuine joy and beauty displayed in these images.  Quite often I am taken by a moment of absolute bliss and I impulsively reach for a camera or phone so that I can capture the moment, although I am almost always disappointed with the result.  Rarely can a recorded image truly capture the feeling I was experiencing at the moment it was taken.   Nevertheless, I take the photo anyway and share it with the world.

     I am not alone.  Everyday I open my Facebook page to pictures of beautiful, happy children, delicious meals, joyous couples in a loving embrace, and so on.  I could wallow in envy at the amazing lives being enjoyed by all those around me but I know the truth behind the photo.  I know that for every gorgeous meal there are three  KD/hotdog equivalent meals.  I also know that for every picture of smiling children there are hours of crying, screaming, and poop.  There is always lots of poop when kids are involved.  And for every loving moment between couples there are arguments so heated that one or two people end it with tears.  That, or they live together for days in uncomfortable silence. 

      I in no way mean to discredit the magical moments people choose to share with the world.  I do not doubt their authenticity.  I simply take solace in the fact that they are fragments of ones entire day.  Beautiful, genuine, blissful fragments....but still fragments.  The rest of our days are often filled with mundane, unglamorous, and necessary tasks. 

    I will keep sharing my happy moments with the world.  I probably won't share too many of the dull ones but I just might share a few to "keep it real".  I look forward to witnessing more wonderful moments of my friends out there in cyber world so please don't stop sharing.  Let us all remember the thousand other words behind the happy photos to avoid feeling bad about our imperfect lives.  I will continue to appreciate the fantastic things going on in my world and feel happy for others who are also enjoying joyous lives, but I won't forget that the pictures posted are merely a glimpse.

Typical Wednesday- not particularly enjoying vacuuming the house.

Eating leftover, cold pizza over the sink between chores.