Just for a Moment

    I bought my first car when I was 26 years old.  I have been largely self reliant with transportation since I was 11 years old.  For fifteen years I took the bus, rode my bike, walked, or took a taxi.  What I miss most about those fifteen years...moments of nothingness.

    A typical day as a suburban, working mom with a car means I am constantly moving and doing something.  I drive almost everywhere I go.  I rarely have to wait for anything.  There is always something waiting for me.  I miss waiting for the bus.  Sounds ridiculous I know.  And for those of you who use public transit may think I am romanticizing times gone past, but I always did like waiting and taking the bus.  Now, this was before cell phones, Ipad, Ipod, Kobo.  When I rode the bus and subway I was often left to my own thoughts.  Sometimes I opened a book but more often I just sat or stood and thought.  These thoughts were not necessarily very deep, although sometimes they were.  Often it was daydreaming I enjoyed while standing on the corner of Barton and Wentworth, thinking of the glamorous life I would have when I was all grown-up. Ha!

    Today I still make time for stillness and nothingness, but even that sentence just sounds exhausting.  "I make time to do nothing."   My new reality is all about scheduling almost every moment of my life.  If I still took the bus I would automatically get those moments.  Some might say I should sell that car I bought 10 years ago (yes I still drive my first car), but I don't live in an urban area where I can rely on public transportation.  It's not as simple as that.  Nothing usually is.

    As I read over this post it does sound a bit whiny.  Oh poor me with the luxury of a vehicle and being able to go wherever I need whenever I need to.  I really don't mean to sound ungrateful. I am simply talking about moments of stillness that I miss.  I guess I will continue to create my own.