Game of Thrones

It is time for me to reclaim my throne.

For too long now I have sacrificed my rightful place as queen of my castle.  I have kept open the door to the throne room and welcomed the young ones inside when in truth, I long for the throne alone. 

In the beginning I kept the door open for safety.  I needed to be able to see and hear my young, to ensure they were out of harms way. 

As time went on the door remained opened out of habit and comfort for the children, for they are at ease when they know the whereabouts of their mother.

Slowly I began closing the door, although I have not yet ventured to lock it.  In fact, the door remains open a tiny crack so that should my children need me they can reach me quickly, or I can swing open the door and call to them if necessary. 

This tiny crack however, allows for many breaches in privacy.  Many times I have had to zip up sweaters, kiss booboos, settle disagreements between siblings all while sitting upon the throne.  And the children are not the only creepers.  The family's friendly dog will often push open the door for a loving pat on the head.

I have reached a new level of frustration and have decided to initiate the lock.  I will also ensure the fan is on to eliminate outside noise and an ample supply of magazines will be at arms reach at all times.  I look forward to this new phase of my reign and I encourage all of you to follow my lead if you haven't done so already. 

Happy throning!

Poison for Breakfast

Food is complicated.

It should be simple but in today's society food has become a complex issue.

A trip to the grocery store is filled with guilt ridden decision making.  It can be a battlefield of affordability versus certified organic product choices.  A mother of three with limited income can, and often will, leave the grocery store feeling proud on one hand for all the food she managed to purchase on a budget, but remorseful on the other for the possibility of pesticides. 

I'm sure there was a time when standing in front of the apples in the produce department the decision was based more on cooking apple or snacking apple.  Today I stand staring at the beautiful yellow apples from New Zealand but will ultimately settle for the small, sour Macintosh from Ontario because I am to buy locally grown right? Better yet, I should cut out the middle man and drive up the road to the apple stand and purchase my apples from my local farmer.  Or am I to support international trade and encourage the export/import business?  I realize New Zealand is a first world nation but what of countries that rely on the export of their products to support their economy?  See, complicated.

All this without mentioning the challenge of getting a box of Lucky Charms through the checkout and into my cloth shopping bag before the other parents see and judge me.  I usually mix it up with the organic quinoa flour and large bag of whole oats.  I may even toss a package of bok choy on top for good measure.  Because, yes, I let my kids have marshmallow cereal for breakfast sometimes, but I also make their muffins with quinoa and apple sauce. 

In this overproduced market of fatty, salty food I try very hard to eat the right stuff.  I will have a sandwich loaded with veggies on whole grain bread, but I may have a side of All Dressed chips with it, and dare I say....a Coca-Cola! 

I certainly do not have the answers to save our society from this giant hole of terrible, dangerous food.  And by no means do I want to return to the "good ol' days" of food preparation involving me with an apron and probably some sort of jellied meat.

I wish I had something really insightful and inspiring to write on the topic but sadly I do not.  We have become a culture so deeply immersed in the capital world of profit that our food has changed.  There is a lot of conversation these days about our food, where it comes from, what's in it.  I'm glad.  These are conversations that need to be had and I certainly hope it is not too little too late.

For now I will continue reading labels and buying food that is real.  I will buy produce locally while in season but chances are I will still buy grapes from Chile in January.  I will learn how to prepare more vegetarian meals because it is good for us and so that I can afford the ethical beef instead of the guilt-ridden beef.  I will allow my kids marshmallows for breakfast and feed them raw veggies for lunch.  I will continue to support local farmers and visit produce stands and farmer's markets whenever I can.

I'm trying to keep food simple at my house without ignoring the real issues facing our food industry today.  No easy task.  Right now I'm off to finish my daughter's uneaten peanut butter sandwich and apple slices.  Our food is simple at our house but I didn't say anything about glamorous.  

For the Love of Dogs

We have a new family member.  He is 17 months old, approximately 65 pounds, a beautiful golden blonde colour and so gorgeous!  His name is Diesel and although he has only been in our home two weeks he already feels like family.

Bringing a dog into the family is much like adding another child.  He requires exercise, food, water, grooming, poo maintenance, extra house cleaning, and unconditional love.  But what you get in return is immeasurable!  Again, just like kids!  On paper, owning a dog sounds awful.  It requires extensive planning with regards to something as simple as a day long outing....will he come with you?  Will he stay at home?  Can we make it home in time, do we need to arrange for someone to come over? 
Your house will never be the same.  Hair will make it's way into ever crack and crevice, and meal.     

We had a six month period between dogs and yes, my floors were cleaner, but I really missed my dog.  The welcome I received from my Harley after a day out was genuine and full of love every time.  The companionship on a walk, even down the street, was comforting and relaxed.  The love he gave when I was feeling unwell or sad was heart-warming and uplifting.  I miss that old guy terribly, and of course Diesel cannot replace him but he has already brought joy and laughter into our lives. There is no doubt in my mind he will be a great friend to me, my husband and my children.

We were fortunate enough to find Diesel through a family looking to re-home him due to personal circumstances.  If you are thinking of adding a dog to your family consider adoption.  There are many dogs out there looking for a home!  I have included a link for a great rescue agency in the GTA.

www.uglymutts.com

Forest Bathing

Shinrin-yoku in Japanese, Sanlimyok in Korean

The term "forest bathing" refers to short visits to a forest for the purpose of relaxation and stress management.  In Japan this is a largely recognized form of therapy compared to aromatherapy.  Before I knew there was a term for it I always believed that time spent in nature, particularly wooded areas was therapeutic and I use it as a part of my life.

For example:  It's a busy morning getting kids ready for school,the toddler is having one of her oh-so-lovely days, you didn't sleep well the night before, and you are simply feeling grumpy- for lack of a better word.    
Solution: Pack a quick lunch, buckle the kids up in the van and head 20 minutes down the road to the conservation area.  Go for a walk in the woods, have a picnic lunch.  The result:  everyone, especially mommy, feels calm, relaxed and happy.  The toddler is tired and ready for a nice long nap and the older boy is ready for some quiet games while baby sister sleeps.

Another example:  Again, a busy day (because what day is not busy), kids were crazy all day, housework dominated the afternoon, you and hubby got into an argument.  You are feeling frustrated, overworked, unappreciated.
Solution: Put the kids to bed, find some trees and go for a walk.  Spend the time alone to clear your mind not to plot revenge and/or escape.  I guarantee you will come home a happier person.

Granted, going for a wooded walk will not solve all your life's problems but since we can't always make it in for a massage, or get away for a yoga class this is an easy way to wash away some of the stress that overtake us from time to time.  A relaxed, happy person is much better equipped to face the challenges that life throws at us, so go for a walk!

 

Childhood

I recently read a book about childhood, more specifically about that time in ones life that teeters on the edge of innocence and cynical adulthood.  It's called Lullabies for Little Criminals by Heather O'Neil and it was recommended by a friend of mine. (Thanks Carolyn!  Great book!)  I mention it here because it has me thinking about the magic of childhood.  For those of  you who have read the book, or will read it you may think I'm a little crazy that it has led me to think about the wonderful things of childhood because the book itself is rather dark and sad...but for that reason it demonstrated the beauty of innocence and how too often it is stolen much too soon.

When I sit back and watch my kids at play and participate in their games I witness genuine kindness and goodness.  I truly believe that children are innately good and see good around them.  It has not yet occurred to the them that people can be deliberately mean and ugly, and when they do experience this it shocks them to the point of tears.  How many parents out there have had their child run to them crying and proclaiming "Jimmy" was mean to them?  As adults when someone is less than kind we shrug it off, because unfortunately we've seen enough of it that it is no longer surprising...still hurtful, but not surprising.

I learn from kids all the time, and not just my own but other children in my life and children I meet in passing.  I know we can't hold on to the naivety and innocence of childhood forever but I will do my best not to steal it from my kids or let others still it from them.  So play on kids!

Love Story in Big Heads

If I were to create an album that told the story of my love with Christopher it would mainly be in big head pictures.  Before we were parents we took big-heads because we were often in a position where no one was around to take the picture for us.  Now that we are parents we realize we never take pictures of just the two of us anymore; therefore, in a spontaneous moment here and there we turn the camera around a snap a photo of the two of us together.  So here it is, our love story in big heads:

Windsor 2005 - When I was still Tasha Tower

Waterloo 2005 - Still a Tower, but not for long...

Stoney Creek 2005 - Our Wedding Day!

Toronto 2007 - Baby #1 arrives and a new love story begins.

New Years Eve 2007 - First full night away from baby

Somewhere outside of London, Ontario 2008 - Baby #2 on the way!

Niagara Falls 2010 - From two to three to four...but we're not done yet!

Milton 2012 - Baby #3 and it's a girl!

Milton 2013 - Now that we have three kids, eating dinner without them is very exciting.

Burlington 2013 - We don't get out much these days so when we do we tend to let loose.  Here we are dragging our friends into our Big Head world.

New Orleans 2013  - This is us making the most of a rainy, final day in Louisiana.

To be continued....

Reality Check

If you happen to have been at the Winners in Milton, Ontario this past Tuesday morning you may have seen a very confident, well-manicured mom with her lovely, well-behaved toddler walking sweetly beside her.  This mom was put together nicely with a pretty, spring scarf and crisp, dark jeans.  She was even carrying a latte in one hand while the other was holding the hand of her happy daughter. 

But please don't look too closely, for if you do this mom's secrets will be revealed.

Her pretty scarf has crusty snot on it because she forgot tissues for her daughter who has a cold.  The daughter also has a smear of old boogers across her cheek from her own attempts to clean herself.  The happy, well-behaved toddler's red eyes also give away the tantrum she had moments earlier at the van which explains why she is walking and not being pushed in her stroller like the mom wanted.  Once again the 18 month old wins the fight.  This same mom will return home soon and hang her scarf on the hook in the front hallway, forgetting it is soiled and most certainly will wear it again even after she remembers the snot.  She will also change out of her "good" jeans and exchange them for her "good" jogging pants.  The latte is long forgotten and now she is having a lunch that consists of the crusts of a peanut butter sandwich and half-eaten cucumber slices while standing over the sink.  The rest of her day will not be browsing through shops but most likely will involve wiping bums, cleaning something (although not well), and retiring to the couch exhausted by 8pm.  Not to mention that before the day is over every member of her household will have farted on her. 

Yes, this was my Tuesday. 

The point of this little story is to demonstrate that things aren't always as they seem.  I would argue that moms are guilty of comparing ourselves to other moms often to be critical of ourselves.  This mom business is a messy one although we may appear to have it all together we most likely do not, or at least not always.  I have great moments when my kids will be on their best behaviour and all of my clothes that I am wearing are clean and I will be looking really calm and cool, and those moments are real, but they are not the norm.  I can often be found in truly unclean clothes while all three of my children are screaming (not joyfully) and I am anything but calm and cool.  We should make a collective agreement to stop comparing ourselves to all the other moms and instead develop some universal signal that says, "This is my moment to have it all together, you'll have yours soon and I'll be a mess again".